The Coffee Incident
by thewhiteleovaldez
Summary: Lance convinces Pidge and Hunk to join him in pranking Coran, and Shiro busts them. Rated T for swearing.


**A/N 'Sup, homos. It's thewhiteleovaldez, here with an incident from the good ship...actually, does The Castle actually have a name, or is it just "The Castle?" Either way, here's Lance and Pidge and Hunk being pranksters. Enjoy.**

* * *

 **The Coffee Incident**

 _By:_ thewhiteleovaldez

* * *

Lance was snickering. Oh, he was so proud of himself. He'd just come up with the PERFECT prank to play. On Coran, no less.

"What are you doing, Lance?" Pidge had looked up when he heard Lance's rather explosive laughing.

"You two wanna play a prank on Coran?" Lance directed his question not only to Pidge, but also to Hunk, who was busy eating.

Hunk swallowed his food nervously. "Uh, Lance, what exactly would we be doing this time?"

"What?" Lance said innocently. "My pranks are good."

Pidge and Hunk both gave him the dead-pan really? Look.

"They may be good pranks, Lance, but we always get caught," Pidge pointed out, adjusting his glasses.

"C'mon," Lance wheedled. "It'll be fun."

"So what are we doing? Hunk sighed. "I always lose when I'm arguing with you."

Lance gave an evil grin. "Here's what we're gonna do…"

Coran sipped his ickba, the Altean equivalent of coffee. He sighed in pleasure and leaned on the counter of the kitchen. Peace and quiet, first thing in the morning, nobody to bother him...he grimaced suddenly and stared into his ickba cup.

"Ugh," he muttered. "What on Altea is this? This isn't ickba." He scowled suspiciously and inspected the package he'd made it from. ...Yup, definitely ickba. So why did it taste like flickworm? Not that Coran knew what flickworms tasted like, oh no.

He started to feel a little dizzy, and sat on the counter. Suddenly he heard a strange sound, like...tiny bells. At the same time, glitter started falling from the ceiling. Coran stared up in utter consternation. Where was the glitter coming from? Then a fairy floated down. Coran stared at it. It was...it looked like...Hunk.

"Hunk?" Coran asked in bafflement. "What in the blazes are you doing?"

"I'm not Hunk," the large Hawaiian fairy said in grudging falsetto. "I am the good fairy Hunketta!"

The good fairy Hunketta, who was dressed in a hot pink dress and heels, made a small twirl in midair. "I am looking for the fearless hero Pidgeo, for the fearless Pidgeo must defeat the terrible beast Lancelot! Do you know where to find him?"

Coran shook his head, picked up his ickba cup, and gawked into it.

Meanwhile, Pidge, Lance, and Hunk were in Pidge's room, sitting on the floor, laughing their asses off at their handiwork.

"How did you know about flickworms, Pidge?" Lance asked through his choking laughter.

"Allura mentioned once that they used to be really popular among Altean youth," Pidge answered, groaning in humiliation as his character, the fearless Pidgeo, came onto the scene.

Hunk snickered and pointed at the laptop screen. "Look, Coran's finally flipped his lid. He's yelling at Lancelot."

All three of them collapsed into hopeless gales of laughter again at Coran's behavior.

"Who knew programmable and recordable hallucinations could be so damn funny," Lance choked out. Hunk shrugged and then buried his face in his hands when Hunketta did a twirl and sprinkled glitter liberally all over the entire scene.

"Why did I ever agree to be the fairy," he groaned.

"Because you lost 'rock, paper, scissors,'" Pidge answered, rolling his eyes.

"True," Hunk conceded.

They collapsed into gales of laughter again as Coran tried to swat Hunketta out of the air and only succeeded in getting a faceful of glitter.

Shiro paused on his way to the galley. He could hear shouting, most likely Coran. He was shouting about...a fairy? Shiro ran the rest of the way to the galley, and was shocked by the sight of Coran flailing around the room by himself, trying to catch something Shiro couldn't see and acting as though something was in the middle of biting his foot. Shiro sighed. Did he know about flickworms? Yes, yes he did. He also knew that the only people who'd program a hallucination with someone named "Hunketta" and "Lancelot" and "Pidgeo" were probably behind it.

Shiro strode into the room, and drew a glass of water. He walked up to Coran, knowing that Coran couldn't see him, and tossed the water into Coran's eyes.

Coran's shout of, "Let go of me, foul beast Lancelot!" died away as he blinked and spluttered the water out of his eyes. "What...Shiro?" Coran's eyes cleared.

"You were given flickworms," Shiro informed him.

Coran frowned. "I think I know who's behind this."

"So do I, and I bet I know where they are, too." Shiro strode purposefully out of the room, Coran angrily following.

"Wait, where'd the recording go?" Lance reached forward and started punching buttons on Pidge's computer.

"Fuck off, Lance," Pidge snickered, swatting his hands away. "I got it. I'll just check the security feeds in the galley and...oh, shit."

"Oh, no," Hunk said. "What is it?"

"Shiro." Pidge frantically hit buttons, though what he was trying to do, neither Lance nor Hunk was sure.

"Shiro? We got busted by Shiro?" Lance said indignantly. "C'mon, I thought we were better than that."

"Certainly not subtle enough," Pidge said. "Quick, you two leave, pretend you were somewhere else."

Lance and Pidge hastened to do so as Pidge continued.

"I'll wipe the security feed from the galley, make sure it can't be-"

The door slid open before Pidge could finish, and Lance and Hunk stopped dead.

"Good morning," Shiro said entirely too politely. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge exchanged a look. They were caught.

Keith found himself in the middle of a very odd breakfast. Coran kept sneaking angry looks at Lance, Pidge, and Hunk, who wore identical guilty grins. Shiro looked a bit exasperated, but his expression said more of, hey, what can you do?

"What, may I ask, is the source of all this tension?" Allura asked.

"Those three gave me flickworms in my ickba this morning!" Coran fumed, pointing at the three in question. Hunk looked duly sorry. Pidge sighed and giggled a bit. Lance, however, wore a wicked, unrepentant grin which Keith thought made him look really hot, in a bit of a bad boy way.

Allura snickered. Which was unexpected, to say the least.

"You're not on my side?" Coran all but whined.

"What was the hallucination?" Allura asked.

Hunk turned red.

"Wait, what happened?" Keith asked, distracted from Lance's hotness.

"We put a programmable hallucinogen in Coran's coffee this morning," Pidge said, starting to snicker. Keith stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. Pranks and practical jokes weren't really his thing.

"Hunk makes a good fairy," Lance volunteered.

There was a short silence.

"What?" Allura said, bursting out in laughter. Keith looked at Hunk and snickered a little.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Hunk muttered.

"Hunk was the fairy, I was the knight, and Lance was the monster," Pidge said matter-of-factly.

"He tried to chew my leg off!" Coran almost shrieked.

"I did nothing of the sort!" Lance put a hand on his chest, as if gravely wounded. "It was only your foot."

Keith had to laugh at that, and even Shiro let out a chuckle.

Lance smiled at Keith, and Keith felt his stomach flip. Stupid nerves. Stupid crush. Stupid Lance.

"Lance, seriously though, no more pranks, okay?" Hunk pleaded.

Lance laughed hard and long at that. "Hunk, as long as I live I will prank people, and that's a promise." Lance pushed back his chair.

"Where are you going?" Allura asked.

"I'm done, I'm gonna check up on Blue before training."

"I'll come with you, I need to talk to Red a little," Keith said, getting up to follow. He'd made a choice, and God help him but he was going to take this opportunity to tell Lance how he felt.

* * *

 **The End**


End file.
